Improving Style Through Diction, Part 2: I Ain't Buying Ain't Ain't a Word

What is the fascination with ain't? Why ain't ain't a standard English word? Let me tell you, whoever made up ain't was on to something sensible.

Let's back up a minute. You might have noticed that we can contract common personal pronouns with the being verb in the present tense (I'm, we're, you're, he's, she's, it's, they're) and in the future tense (I'll, we'll, you'll, he'll, she'll, it'll, they'll), but not in the past tense. While our standard language does allow for contracting negatives with being verbs in the past tense (wouldn't) and future tense (won't), it does not completely allow for it in the present tense (yes to we, you, or they aren't and to he, she, or it isn't, but no to I amn't). There just ain't a word for that one, if you follow my meaning. What a headache this causes for speakers and writers craving consistency in their language. No wonder some linguistic genius made up ain't.  

But language ain't, I mean isn't, logical. Of course, I'm used to this inconsistency, so I avoid it in professional speech and writing, but I still use it to be playful (e.g., It ain't gonna happen) or to replicate common speech (e.g., She said, "It ain't my job"). But I still ain't using ain't in formal communication.

Improving Style Through Diction, Part 1: Parts of Speech

I've concluded the 20-part series on improving style through syntax (word order). The links to the series topics appear at the end of this post. Now I begin another 20-part series, this one on improving style through diction (word choice). To get us grounded on words, I'll start with a quick review of the eight parts of speech, which I'll be discussing in segments of this series.

The eight parts of speech fall into four broad categories: basics (nouns, pronouns, and verbs), modifiers (adjective and adverbs), connectors (prepositions and conjunctions), and interrupters (interjections).
This sentence uses every part of speech:

Wow, Kay—Eve and I are very excited that a highly respected university in California accepted you so quickly into its program. 

BASICS
1. Noun (Kay, Eve, university, program, California). A person (Kay, Eve), place (California), or thing (university, program)
2. Pronoun (I, you, its). A stand-in for a noun (I replaces me, Philip Vassallo) you replaces Kay, and its replaces the name of the university).
3. Verb (are, accepted). An action (accepted) or state of being (are).

MODIFIERS
4. Adjective (excited, a, respected). A qualifier of a noun or pronoun (excited qualifies the noun Eve and the pronoun I, and respected qualifies noun university).
5. Adverb (very, highly, so, quickly). A qualifier of a verb, adjective, or another adverb (very qualifies the adjective excited, highly qualifies the adjective respected), quickly qualifies the verb accepted, and so qualifies the adverb quickly).

CONNECTORS
6. Preposition (in, into). A connector showing the relationship between a noun, pronoun or noun phrase and other parts of a sentence (in connects the nouns university and California and into connects the verb accepted and the noun program).  
7. Conjunction (and, that).  A connector of any part of speech as well as phrases and clauses to coordinate ideas (and connects Eve and I, and that connects everything before it, except Wow, Kay, and everything after it.

INTERRUPTERS
8. Interjection (Wow). An expression of surprise or emotion that does not function as any of other seven parts of speech.

A good way to see how word choice affects style is through Constance Hale's book Sin and Syntax: How to Create Wicked Good Prose.

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Read previous posts on improving style through syntax:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs

Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Part 10: Placing Conjunctions

Part 11: Placing Interjections

Part 12: Placing Verbs

Part 13: Placing Nouns

Part 14: Placing Pronouns 

Part 15: Keeping Parallel Form

Part 16: Breaking Parallel Form

Part 17: Using Active Voice for Clarity, Conciseness, Fluency
Part 18: Using Passive Voice for Value, Context, Tact

Part 19: Valuing Variety
Part 20: Valuing Repetition

Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 20: Valuing Repetition

For the last post of this series about improving writing style by a deeper understanding of syntax, I stray from all those good things we learned in school about style to look at the power of repetition through four famous examples in chronological order.

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. This 1859 novel starts with a 119-word paragraph with six unadorned monosyllabic words, “It was the best of times” followed by nine other six-word independent clauses repeating it was the, followed by a unique adjective, followed by the repetitive of to begin 10 shortest possible 2-word prepositional phrases. Let’s do the math here: 10 uses each of it, was, the and of, not to mention the double use of age, epoch, and season. Thus, 45 of 60 words (66.7%) are repeats! Then following this remarkable linguistic recycling are the double uses of we had and we were all going. The repetition is downright dizzying and, more importantly, memorable.

Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky. The first sentence of this 1864 novella sucks you right in: “I am a sick man.” More striking is the Dostoevsky narrator’s repetitious use of I—19 times in the first paragraph of 176 words. Adding to the I’s his self-obsessed use of me once, my four times, and it twice to indicate his liver and imagined disease, the 26 self-references total 14.8% of the word count. By the end of this paragraph, we have no doubt who the story will be about and how precarious his emotional state is.    

“We Shall Fight on the Beaches” by Prime Minister Winston Churchill. Churchill delivered this 3,737-word speech to the British House of Commons on June 4, 1940 conceding a major military loss at Dunkirk after his famous blood, toil, tears and sweat speech three weeks earlier and before his arguably more famous This was their finest hour speech two weeks later. He says we shall far more times than the one that immortalized his speech—10 in total within a 73-word span (20 words, or 27.4%). What make the repetition more vivid are the eight instances of we shall fight in the middle sandwiched by We shall go on to the end in the beginning and We shall never surrender at the end. (Do not tell me Churchill did not read A Tale of Two Cities!) Powerful rhetoric!

“I Have a Dream” by Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. In his monumental speech of August 28, 1963, from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC, to an audience of 250,000, King says I have a dream 9 times within the space of 229 words (36 words, or 15.7%). He then follows these words with let freedom ring 10 times in a more concentrated 101 words (30 words, or 29.7%). And for a topping, he closes by quoting for the black spiritual free at last in the final 9 of 14 words (64.2%), the only other 5 words being the awe-inspiring thank God almighty I am. Often touted as the greatest speech of American political history, the 1,667-word masterpiece is graced with powerful repetition in other places as well.  

Repetition used wisely will impress an idea in the imagination and move along the rhythm of the writer’s intended mood. I almost want to say thank you, thank you, thank you for reading this post.

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Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs

Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Part 10: Placing Conjunctions

Part 11: Placing Interjections

Part 12: Placing Verbs

Part 13: Placing Nouns

Part 14: Placing Pronouns 

Part 15: Keeping Parallel Form

Part 16: Breaking Parallel Form

Part 17: Using Active Voice for Clarity, Conciseness, Fluency
Part 18: Using Passive Voice for Value, Context, Tact

Part 19: Valuing Variety

Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 19: Valuing Variety

One of the abiding principles of good writing style is to maintain reader interest by creating sentence variety in numerous ways. Here I'll list just four:

• Types. The four types are declarative (I am here.), interrogative (Are you there?), imperative (Come here.), and exclamatory (I'm so glad you're here!) 
• Openers. We can start a sentence in subject-verb order (Jane works for you.), a prepositional phrase (On Tuesday morning, Jane works for you.), a participial phrase (Needing money, Jane works for you.), an infinitive phrase (To make money, Jane works for you.), the subject separated from the verb (Jane, who needs money, works for you.), and other possibilities.
• Lengths. We can go short (I like learning. You like learning. Let's stay together. We will learn from each other.) or long (Since you and I like learning, let's stay together to learn from each other.) 
• Syntax. Great writers mix standard sentences with comma splices, run-ons, and fragments, although I would discourage people from employing this practice in formal writing at work because comma splices, run-ons, and fragments are considered technical errors. But for that very reason, great writers use them, adding an element of surprise to their narrative. In the next example, the first sentence is standard, the second a comma splice, the third a run-on, and the last a fragment, all reflecting the high emotion of the writer: How could she do that? It was so premeditated it was so brazen. Was she toying with him, was she trying to get the reaction that he gave? On their wedding day? I'd bet you want to know what she did and how he reacted.

***

Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs

Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Part 10: Placing Conjunctions

Part 11: Placing Interjections

Part 12: Placing Verbs

Part 13: Placing Nouns

Part 14: Placing Pronouns 

Part 15: Keeping Parallel Form

Part 16: Breaking Parallel Form

Part 17: Using Active Voice for Clarity, Conciseness, Fluency
Part 18: Using Passive Voice for Value, Context, Tact

Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 18: Using Passive Voice for Value, Context, Tact

If you read the previous post on why you should use active voice, then you might rightly wonder, why ever use passive voice. I could think of three reasons: value, context, and tact.

1. Value. Sometimes the doer of the action is not as important as the receiver. In such cases, the passive would be preferable. The example below favors the passive voice because it focuses more on the Unabomber's arrest than who arrested him. (I say this with all due respect to the FBI and no insult intended to the critical and dangerous work its agents do.)

Active (focus on the less important FBI agents): FBI agents arrested the Unabomber.

Passive: The Unabomber was arrested.

2. Context. Other times, the doer is so clear from the context that it does not merit mentioning. In these cases, again the passive would be preferable. Example:

Active (attention to an obvious doer): Construction workers erected the building in 2002.

Passive (attention to the receiver): The building was erected in 2002.

3. Tact. If exposing a doer would be embarrassing or inappropriate, passive voice would also work well. Example:

Active (inappropriate attention to the doer): Carol made a mistake during the presentation.

Passive (more tactful omission of the doer): A mistake was made during the presentation.

***

Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs

Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Part 10: Placing Conjunctions

Part 11: Placing Interjections

Part 12: Placing Verbs

Part 13: Placing Nouns

Part 14: Placing Pronouns 

Part 15: Keeping Parallel Form

Part 16: Breaking Parallel Form

Part 17: Using Active Voice for Clarity, Conciseness, Fluency