Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 13: Placing Nouns

We tend to stick to the subject-verb-object order of standard English sentences, as in these examples:

I write blogs.

The women sing ballads!

Those boys read books?

Each of these sentences follow that subject-verb-object order, and anything that strays from this basic structure seems fanciful ("Blogs I write"), archaic ("Ballads sing the women!"), or just strange ("Books those boys read?").

But we take liberties to embellish our style. Here are two examples:

1. Strong are they who earn their money.

This sentence begins with a complement (strong) followed by the verb (are), subject (they), and appositive phrase (who earn their money). 

2. By no law that denies people's rights shall we abide.  

Example 2 is a syntactic jumble, but an interesting one. It starts with the object law in a prepositional phrase (by no law), followed by the qualifier noun phrase (that denies people's rights), and the verb (shall abide) split by the subject (we). 

While these sentences may seem funky to you, consider playing with your syntax (word order) for an occasional surprise. Examples:

Through much effort and dedication we achieved our annual goals.

Not one error in a hundred trials did the team make.

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Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs
Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Part 10: Placing Conjunctions

Part 11: Placing Interjections

Part 12: Placing Verbs

  

Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 12: Placing Verbs

Here is a rhetorical legend you should disregard: Do not begin a sentence with a verb. I have no idea where this stuff comes from, but you can begin a sentence with anything that you, and especially your readers, understand—and appreciate stylistically. 

You should not have a problem with beginning sentences with verbs. In fact, you were taught to do just that in the third grade when writing imperative sentences like these:

• Call me tomorrow.
• Display your photo ID.
• Send your check to the address below. 

Now I can hear the grammar cops saying, well, the you is understood in imperative sentences, so you're really beginning those sentences not with a verb but with the pronoun you.

Don't be ridiculous.

To avoid beginning a sentence with a verb (as I've done in this sentence with the infinitive to avoid), the grammar cops will tell us to precede a verb phrase with a prepositional phrase, as in: In order to ensure a secure workplace, we request that you display your photo ID. But conciseness requires us to eliminate those first two words: To ensure a secure workplace, we request that you display your photo ID.

To write well, use all the sentence beginnings that feel right! Got it?

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Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs
Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Part 10: Placing Conjunctions
Part 11: Placing Interjections

Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 11: Placing Interjections

After 15+ years (5,549 days and 915 posts, to be exact), I have finally decided to write something about interjections, those emotional expressions of surprise. Since we generally accompany interjections with exclamation points, old-time stylists urge us to avoid them except in rare instances. But rebellious millennials, in their singular way, have endowed our literary landscape with enough exclamation points—to their elders' puzzlement—to populate a forest!

I try limiting exclamation points to one per message at most, and I use them only in positive contexts, avoiding "How could you!", "You really messed this one up!", and "Don't you dare!" and preferring "Congratulations!", "What a great job!", and "How thoughtful of you!" So by extension, I use interjections sparingly as I want readers to take them interpret them as intended.

When using interjections, consider where you place them to create a greater element of surprise. Examples:

• Congratulations—again!—for winning a second Employee of the Month Award.
• Some of this work will take endless—no kidding!—perseverance.
• I wanted to write you early, but—alas!—again!— unreliable memory got in the way.
• Some expected us to cancel the company picnic—yeah, right!
• Ouch! I never spent that much for a pair of eyeglasses.

Remember: use them sparingly, positively, and surprisingly! Wow! That's enough exclamation points for a lifetime—phew!

 ***

Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs
Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Part 10: Placing Conjunctions

Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 10: Placing Conjunctions

Most of us have been taught sometime in our formal education not to begin a sentence with a conjunction (e.g., for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so). In an earlier post, I give 14 examples from 5 great writers who pay no mind to this worthless "rule".  

Now let's see how conjunctions (highlighted below) begin many a CEO sentence:

"And I am proud to say, Allison transmission plans to continue its heritage of leadership in the markets we serve and in the communities where we live and work." David S. Graziosi, President and Chief Executive Office, Allison Transmission 

"But there is more to be done, and we remain fully committed to strengthening our capabilities and to further evolving the organization going forward." Mashamichi Terabatake, President, CEO and Representative Director, JT Group

"And we would like to remind you of the special responsibility that a company like ours has at this time." Mark Schneider, Chief Executive Officer, Nestlé

See what I mean? Beginning sentences with a conjunction—sparingly—is not a problem. And that's for sure. 

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Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs
Part 8: Placing Adjectives

Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Improving Style Through Syntax, Part 9: Placing Prepositional Phrases

Where we place prepositional phrases matters as much as where we place adjectives and adverbs, as these three examples show.

1. No change in meaning, but change in impact.
Zandra walked into the office. 
Into the office Zandra walked.

2. Obvious change in meaning.
Yancy knew the speaker at the podium. (Yancy is in the audience looking at the podium.)
At the podium Yancy knew the speaker. (Yancy is a fellow speaker at the podium.)

3. Subtle change in meaning.
Xiomara works for Microsoft. (Xiomara is employed by Microsoft.)
For Microsoft Xiomara works. (Xiomara exerts effort at Microsoft in a way that she does not for others.)  

So be careful when choosing between these two sentences:

I know the policy for now. (The policy seems subject to constant revisions.)
For now I know the policy. (I tend to forget the constant policy.)

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Read previous posts in this series:

Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases

Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity

Part 3: Dropping Pronouns for Conciseness

Part 4: Avoiding—No, Managing—the Comma Splice

Part 5: Remedying Run-ons

Part 6: Freeing Fragments

Part 7: Placing Adverbs
Part 8: Placing Adjectives