When the subject and verb of your sentence are far apart, you’ll surely cause your reader’s head to spin in a sea of confusion. In the examples below, observe the word count in each sample is identical (34 words), yet the second draft is far clearer. That’s because the subject and verb (italicized) are closely connected.
Unclear: When an employee applies for a new position in the Company, factors such as professional credentials, employee appraisals, manager and peer recommendation, project involvement, training completed, educational achievement, and interview responses must be considered.
Clearer: When an employee applies for a new position in the Company, management must consider all factors, including professional credentials, employee appraisals, manager and peer recommendation, project involvement, training completed, educational achievement, and interview responses.
