Ways to Celebrate Leap Day

After hitting 13 French Quarter music venues during my 5 days in New Orleans for Mardi Gras (see my earlier post)—not to mention experiencing the fabulous street bands—I am reminded of the excusable wrongheadedness of the youthful Dorothy Gale's proclamation, "There's no place like home," unless she means home as a state of mind.

Speaking of states of mind, happy Leap Day, with my sympathy to people born on February 29 who at age 60 insist they are only 15 years old. Here are some curiosities about leap year:

• The term for people born on February 29 is leaplings.
• Taiwan and Hong Kong have legally settled official birthdays for leaplings in common years, though they disagree on the date (Taiwan for February 28, and Hong Kong for March 1).
• We have a 1 in 1,461 chance (0.068446%) of being born on leap day. We have a 1 in 365.2422 chance (0.273789%) of being born on any other day.
• To say a year contains 365.25 days is imprecise; in fact, there are 365.2422. We will compensate for the inexactness of adding a leap day every four years by dropping it in the centennial years of 2100, 2200, and 2300, but not in 2400.

This all seems to me like much ado about something. Precision matters. So here are ways to celebrate Leap Day, if Mardi Gras has not worn you out: Do everything in quarters today. Drink only four ounces of that pint of beer and pour the rest in your buddy's mug. Eat one meatball and put the other three in the refrigerator for tomorrow. Speak only one sentence for every three you hear. Read three minutes for every minute you watch television. But do not send one-fourth of payments due to your creditors, unless you don't mind late charges.

In the Big Easy, Thinking of Literature and Music

I'm in New Orleans for five days for my first Mardi Gras as a present for my wife. Down here I can't help but think of Tennessee Williams's play A Streetcar Named Desire and Walker Percy's novel The Moviegoer, two literary works that have influenced my wanting to show up for such a wild and fun event. I've got to get to Faulkner House of Books, situated where Nobel laureate William Faulkner wrote his first novel, Solider's Pay. The jazz here is extensive and excellent: Carousel Bar, Court of Two Sisters, Davenport Lounge, d.b.a., Fritzel's, Jazz Playhouse, Preservation Hall, Spotted Cat, Starlight, 21st Amendment, all in the French Quarter, and the Natchez Steamboat River Cruise are in the works during my stay, as well as zydeco in Tropical Isle Bayou Club and Mulate's.  

Next on my reading list is John Kennedy Toole's A Confederacy of Dunces, which from all accounts would have gotten me to the Big Easy sooner if I had read it. 

Good Advice for Writers from Stephen King

For this 900th post on WORDS ON THE LINE, I thought it would be helpful to highlight Stephen King's advice to aspiring writers. The article, "22 Lessons from Stephen King on How to Be a Great Writer," summarizes excerpts of King's best-selling book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, originally published in 2000. While each of the 22 lessons is valuable, I'll stick to the three here that have helped me the most. 

The first point King makes in the article is the most important: Read. This means cutting back on watching television in favor of reading widely and frequently. The focus on widely will expand your knowledge, and the attention to frequently—every day—will make reading as second nature and essential as breathing.

The second tip, expect endless criticism and failure, is an undeniable and inevitable truth. I have heard criticism of the greatest writers in history, and I am sure they heard it too. But the negativity did not stop them. That's the attitude you have to take. 

The eighteenth guidance in the article, write every day, goes hand in hand with the first. Stop making excuses. Just do it. Before you know it, you'll have enough material for several novels, screenplays, essay or poetry collections, or whatever it is that moves you.

The article by Maggie Zhang originally appeared in Business Insider in  August 2014 and was updated on August 11, 2015.  It is timeless journalism.

Perfect? Take It from Anne Lamott

Anytime I hear someone say, "I won't accept anything less than perfect," I think of Anne Lamott's retort: "Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor."

Let's be clear. Perfection is something to strive for, like eternity, as long as you know you'll never achieve it. Insisting on perfection means letting that naysayer in your head get the best of your judgment. As an example, look at the three-word sentence at the top of this paragraph. I gave little thought to it, but now these six of an infinite number of alternatives are crossing my mind:

1. Let me be clear.
2. To clarify ...
3. So what's the point?
4. The point Lamott is making ...
5. Lamott's point is so clear to the thoughtful writer.
6. (Omit the sentence.)

Who cares? Just write the darn thing. Life is too short to mess around with a sentence whose "perfection" is entirely subjective. A writer needs to produce words, sentences, paragraphs, and documents, not slave over the impossible idea of perfection. Perfectionism falls under the if-you-had-one-wish category. It's a pipe dream. Thanks for the reminder, Anne Lamott! 

On Writing for the Web, Part 4: Editing for Conciseness

To close this four-part series on writing for the web, let's review the first three parts: first, analyze your audience; second, address your audience's concerns; and third, start with the points most important to your audience. This last installment covers editing for conciseness, because you don't want to waste your audience's time.

1. Remove repetitive ideas. Repetition can be helpful when speaking to drive points home and stimulate retention, but it is less valuable when writing. Here is a repetitive passage I saw in a company's intranet:

Thanks for your generous contributions to our fundraising campaign. We appreciate your thoughtful donations. (14 words)

Both sentences have the same meaning, so the delete the second one:

Thanks for your generous contributions to our fundraising campaign. (9 words) 

 Here's another one from a company's website:

We are concerned about your security, and our latest XYZ technology will ensure your data is secure 24/7. (18 words)

Did you pick up the repetitive security and secure clauses? You have a few choices here, but I'll keep them to two:

Our latest XYZ technology will address your security concerns 24/7. (10 words)

Your data will be secure with our latest XYZ technology. (10 words)  

2. Undo unnecessary words and phrases. Some words add value and others simply do not in a given context. If you were comparing the current system with the proposed system, the adjectives current and proposed matter for clear contrast and parallel form. But we nearly never need the adverb currently, as in:

I am currently completing the analysis. (6 words)

The continuous tense am completing takes care of currently:

I am completing the analysis. (5 words)  

Some phrases exist apparently just to sound important, but discerning readers know they add zero value:

In the year 2019, the S&P 500 rose up by 30.43%. (11 words)

In 2019, the S&P 500 rose 30.43% (7 words)

We know 2019 is a year in the context of the sentence and rising obviously goes up. Even the preposition by seems unnecessary to a fluent speaker. Notice the huge real estate wasters in this next example: 

Please be advised that in the month of July, 14th Street between First Avenue and Second Avenue will be closed to vehicular traffic. (23 words)

In July, 14th Street between First and Second Avenues will be closed to vehicles. (14 words)

Four blunders appear in this sentence: 1) Whenever we write anything, we are advising our readers, so we don't need to tell them we are. 2) Readers needs no reminder that July is a month. 3) Avenue can be changed to Avenues to cover First and Second. 4) Logic dictates that if vehicles can't enter the area, neither can traffic. Here's another example more common in email:     

My name is Philip Vassallo. I am writing to let you know that it was brought to my attention that at this point in time we are not monitoring the area on a day-to-day basis. (35 words)

We are no longer monitoring the area daily. (8 words)

Is this example an exaggeration? Maybe, but I still see all those unnecessary phrases in email:

• I don't need to introduce myself, as my name and title are in my signature block, and if I don't have a complete signature block, I should. 
• I am writing is a false start. In fact, it is inaccurate because by the time you are reading this message, I am not writing it.
• To let you know that is another way of saying the useless please be advised that.
• The passive voice it was brought to my attention adds the unhelpful idea of someone telling me rather than what I need to tell you.
• At this point in time falls under the same category as currently, only worse with the extra words, because of the continuous tense are not monitoring.
• On a day-to-day basis is not a more important way of saying daily, as some writers claim; it is just more verbose.

3. Trash trite transitions. (Say that five times fast!) Many high school composition teachers would say I am committing a sin by calling for the elimination of transitions. But too often such transitions are painfully obvious at best and intelligence insults at worst. Here are three cases in point of disposable transitions:

As you know, economic indicators are showing increases in nearly every sector of the global economy. What this means is that the worldwide recession is finally reversing after nearly a decade of stagnation. In summary, investors are looking for aggressive growth funds.

People say they write as you know for those readers who know whatever they are writing about, or to let those who do not know it realize they should. Then why say it? This is not too deep a question. The clause is unjustifiable.

What this means that attempts to show a causal relationship between two sentences. Again, readers will usually understand the relationship without what this means that, in effect, or as a result. See if inserting any on those three phrases between the sentences below would bring greater clarity to them. I think not:

• Last year we closed our California production facility. We no longer have a presence on the West coast. 
• Sales have decreased by 5 percent year over year. The CEO has bolstered our sales team to reverse this decline. 

Finally, the phrases in summary and in conclusion are generally lame ways of wrapping up a discussion. We know it's in summary: the phrase starts the last sentence or paragraph.

Making every word matter is vital to online writers who want their readers to capture their message. Employing these three tips, as well as those in the previous three installments of this series, will go a long way toward achieving that goal.