Saturday, February 18, 2006

This What?

In step with the WORDS ON THE LINE entry of February 11, beware of using the pronoun this. For clarity and impact, follow this with the noun it represents. Below is an example with an improved revision.

Weak: Sales rose by 12 percent last quarter. This proves that our company is on a promising upswing.

Better: Sales rose by 12 percent last quarter. This unprecedented growth proves that our company is on a promising upswing.

Sure, the second draft runs two words longer, but remember that being concise means clarity first and brevity second!


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