In teaching
tone, I make a point of distinguishing between assertiveness and
aggressiveness. This is no small point, as some of us tend to use these words
interchangeably, and each word has nuanced detonations (literal meanings) and
connotations (inferred meanings). The root of both words is Latin: assertive from assertus,
meaning defended or claimed, and aggressive
from aggressus, meaning attack. Regardless of their roots, we are
familiar with sentences such as these:
- Val could not be more
assertive about her preferred political candidate. (Val seems
single-mindedly certain about her opinion, which is not necessarily bad.)
- Xavier never was
assertive about compliance with the policy until he believed his staff
began taking too many liberties with it. (Xavier’s newfound assertiveness
is edging toward running roughshod about the policy, which may border on
stubbornness.)
- Yu said he quit his
job because of his manager’s aggressiveness. (Here we take aggressiveness to
mean belligerence, which we do well to avoid, especially in the
workplace.)
- Zoey's aggressiveness on
the court helps her win most tennis tournaments she enters. (In this
case, aggressiveness suggests wanting to win at all
costs.)
Writing assertively (authoritatively confident and bold) depends on the point you are trying to make, the audience you are addressing, and the emotional climate. In my line of work as a writing consultant, I write assertively in rare cases, usually when my clients insist on no wiggle room from this professional wiggler. Writing aggressively (belligerently), on the other hand, is a no-no. Who am I to be confrontational with the people who pay for my service? Sorry to be so assertive here, but I’m sure you get my point.
Now here’s the dig: Since I say some of us may use assertive and aggressive interchangeably, myself not included, some people may wrongly believe that I am encouraging an aggressive tone. Never. I don’t care if we want our favorite athlete to be aggressive in competition. The office, whether actual or virtual, is not a sport. Respecting people’s feelings is part of our job, whether we like it or not. On second thought, we should like respecting other people’s feelings. If you are ever told your writing tone is aggressive, you must do two things: apologize and change. I can’t be more assertive than that.
