Serious writers claim we can always drop the pronouns who, which, and that. Actually, we can't. We surely want to drop those words for conciseness, but we need to think twice before doing so.
Who (for people)
In the next sentences, we can drop who without altering the meaning of the sentence:
Wordy: Ana Diaz, who is the CEO, will address the staff. (10 words)
Concise: CEO Ana Diaz will address the staff. (7 words)
Wordy: Ana Diaz is the executive who is in charge. (9 words) Concise: Ana Diaz is the executive in charge. (7 words)
But dropping who in the next sentence would destroy its grammatical soundness:
Correct: Who will be the executive in charge?
Incorrect: Will be the executive in charge?
And in this next sentence, dropping who would change the meaning:
Who is the executive in charge? (This means one is asking for the executive in charge.)
Is the executive in charge? (This mean one is asking whether the executive is in charge.)
Which (for places, things, types, concepts)
Like who, which is often expendable, but not always. In this next sentence, which is unnecessary:
Wordy: The committee, which the CEO appointed, will meet tomorrow. (9 words)
Concise: The CEO-appointed committee will meet tomorrow. (6 words, as hyphenated words count as one)
However, the sentence below shows that dropping which would create a syntax problem:
Correct: I am not sure which committee the CEO appointed.
Incorrect: I am not sure committee the CEO appointed.
That (for places, things, types, concepts)
Finally, that is not different from who or which in being alternately disposable or necessary, depending on the sentence. In the next example, that is verbiage:
Wordy: CEO Ana Diaz said that she will meet the committee. (10 words)
Concise: CEO Ana Diaz said she will meet the committee. (9 words)
In this final example, keeping that will attain clarity:
I know CEO Ana Diaz will meet the committee.
A first reading may interpret the sentence to mean I know CEO Ana Diaz when, in fact, I know something about her. Thus, we'd do better with:
I know that CEO Ana Diaz will meet the committee.
Think through whether dropping who, which, or that—or any word for that matter—maintains clarity while achieving conciseness. After all, clarity surpasses conciseness in value.
Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases
Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity
Who (for people)
In the next sentences, we can drop who without altering the meaning of the sentence:
Wordy: Ana Diaz, who is the CEO, will address the staff. (10 words)
Concise: CEO Ana Diaz will address the staff. (7 words)
Wordy: Ana Diaz is the executive who is in charge. (9 words) Concise: Ana Diaz is the executive in charge. (7 words)
But dropping who in the next sentence would destroy its grammatical soundness:
Correct: Who will be the executive in charge?
Incorrect: Will be the executive in charge?
And in this next sentence, dropping who would change the meaning:
Who is the executive in charge? (This means one is asking for the executive in charge.)
Is the executive in charge? (This mean one is asking whether the executive is in charge.)
Which (for places, things, types, concepts)
Like who, which is often expendable, but not always. In this next sentence, which is unnecessary:
Wordy: The committee, which the CEO appointed, will meet tomorrow. (9 words)
Concise: The CEO-appointed committee will meet tomorrow. (6 words, as hyphenated words count as one)
However, the sentence below shows that dropping which would create a syntax problem:
Correct: I am not sure which committee the CEO appointed.
Incorrect: I am not sure committee the CEO appointed.
That (for places, things, types, concepts)
Finally, that is not different from who or which in being alternately disposable or necessary, depending on the sentence. In the next example, that is verbiage:
Wordy: CEO Ana Diaz said that she will meet the committee. (10 words)
Concise: CEO Ana Diaz said she will meet the committee. (9 words)
In this final example, keeping that will attain clarity:
I know CEO Ana Diaz will meet the committee.
A first reading may interpret the sentence to mean I know CEO Ana Diaz when, in fact, I know something about her. Thus, we'd do better with:
I know that CEO Ana Diaz will meet the committee.
Think through whether dropping who, which, or that—or any word for that matter—maintains clarity while achieving conciseness. After all, clarity surpasses conciseness in value.
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Read previous posts in this series:Part 1: Grouping and Dropping Prepositional Phrases
Part 2: Dropping Pronouns for Clarity
