I refer to James Baldwin for at least the fourteenth time on WORDS ON THE LINE, primarily because of the eminently quotable nature of his writing. Here is one paradoxical sentence from a letter he wrote to his agent, Robert P. Mills, dated November 20, 1961, from Turkey:
If you don't learn how to take, you soon forget how to give.
By way of background, Baldwin was explaining to Mills how grateful, and maybe undeserving, he was to have received such generosity from his hosts in Turkey. He mentioned that he had no idea how to repay such kindness, resolving that some people do not want payment, that their payment is the gift of giving.
Over time, I have learned the truth of that statement. My parents raised me as many others have been raised, to never expect or accept other people's giving without earning it. Consequently, the very thought of receiving a "handout" abhorred me. As I grew under the influence of intellectual giants like and old boss Harry Kamish, musical geniuses like Bill Evans, transformative artists like Chuck Close, extraordinary writers like Baldwin, and mostly habitual givers like my sister Elizabeth and wife Georgia, I experienced a reversal in perspective. I now understand that giving and taking in their intended spirit are virtually synonymous. I do not feel the need to explain what Baldwin meant. You would understand if you have experienced the meaning of benevolence.
