In a writing workshop, I might give a sentence like the one below instructing students to eliminate unnecessary words without changing the writer's intention:
I am writing this email to inform you that you are required to stop conducting your investigation right away on a temporary basis due to the fact that Jefferson is taking a position of not being cooperative in response to your interview. (42 words)
Here is the suggested solution to this editing exercise:
You must immediately discontinue investigating until Jefferson cooperates with your interview. (11 words)
Of course, we do not need the false start, I am writing this email, to understand the sentence. Other longwinded phrases are replaceable by single words (are required = must, conducting your investigation = investigating, right away = immediately, due to the fact that = because, not being cooperative = noncooperative). Still other phrases mean nothing in the context (is taking a position of, in response to). We also can find ways of implying the meaning with fewer words (until Jefferson cooperates implies well enough that Jefferson is not cooperating and that the discontinuation is temporary).
Some students miss the point of this exercise by dropping words necessary to the meaning, such as temporarily or immediately, which would change the writer's intent. For this reason, I make a point of discussing the differences among revising, editing, and proofreading, which we should do in this order:
- Revising – a matter of content and structure, when we move, add, or delete ideas to support our point and address the reader's concerns (purposefulness, completeness, organization).
- Editing – a matter of style, when we change the expression of language to best express our intention (courtesy, clarity, conciseness, correctness).
- Proofreading – a matter of detecting overlooked errors (layout, typos).
By the time we edit, we should have already determined what goes into the message; we are merely finessing the language, massaging the expression. People mistake my saying delete unnecessary words by eliminating ideas essential to the meaning of the sentence. If it adds value, keep it in; if it does not, out it goes.
